There will be 'No Sex In The City'
Ever the consummate people watcher and student of life, I have arrived at several deductions over the course of the last week (in no particular order):
1) I have decided that it would be financially advantageous in the long term to marry a bagel maker (I have been eating bagels like they are going out of fashion).
2) I have discovered where all the beautiful people work. It is a magical and wondrous place on Fifth Avenue called... Abercrombie & Fitch. Frat pack, anyone? It makes you want to be a cheerleader... or go out to a log cabin and toast marshmallows over an open fire.
3) I have learnt that for the more sophisticated strain of man (whose first name is unlikely to be Chad or Brad), one must frequent Saks Fifth Avenue. However, it is likely that the boys are more beautiful than you, and they prefer other boys who are more beautiful than you. Sex in this city will only be possible if you are a character in a television series of the same name, or if you look like Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk.
4) I have memorialized this holiday as the MOTHER OF ALL SHOPPING TRIPS. If you listen carefully enough, you can hear the sweet music that emanates from the swish-swish-swish sound of a Banana Republic carrybag when you saunter through SoHo. Oh, okay - maybe not. Capitalism is evil. But it feels so damn good!
5) I know that my diet has gone to shit here, and that I currently have more caffeine and sugar pulsing in my veins than blood. Dale & Thomas popcorn for breakfast is evil. But it tastes so damn good!
6) I have deduced that I should stop watching so many schmaltzy Hollywood-Christmas movies. Because there really is NO John Cusack to bump into at the glove stand at Bloomingdale's during the pre-Christmas rush.
7) I have accepted that Macy's television advertisements are evil. Because I am a sucker for the Ken doll models, the impossibly white smiles, the fake snow and hokey Christmas jingles which make me want to buy things... and continue to be deluded that John Cusack will be at a department store glove stand tomorrow.
8) I have concluded that I really don't need to see a rat in the subway tunnels to complete my NY experience.
9) I have realised that most people despise their jobs. And they have no qualms about showing it.
10) I concede that this country and this city encompasses the very best and the very worst of culture and humanity.
New York City. You don't hate it or love it. You do both. Three visits to this city is not enough. There will be a fourth time...
1) I have decided that it would be financially advantageous in the long term to marry a bagel maker (I have been eating bagels like they are going out of fashion).
2) I have discovered where all the beautiful people work. It is a magical and wondrous place on Fifth Avenue called... Abercrombie & Fitch. Frat pack, anyone? It makes you want to be a cheerleader... or go out to a log cabin and toast marshmallows over an open fire.
3) I have learnt that for the more sophisticated strain of man (whose first name is unlikely to be Chad or Brad), one must frequent Saks Fifth Avenue. However, it is likely that the boys are more beautiful than you, and they prefer other boys who are more beautiful than you. Sex in this city will only be possible if you are a character in a television series of the same name, or if you look like Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk.
4) I have memorialized this holiday as the MOTHER OF ALL SHOPPING TRIPS. If you listen carefully enough, you can hear the sweet music that emanates from the swish-swish-swish sound of a Banana Republic carrybag when you saunter through SoHo. Oh, okay - maybe not. Capitalism is evil. But it feels so damn good!
5) I know that my diet has gone to shit here, and that I currently have more caffeine and sugar pulsing in my veins than blood. Dale & Thomas popcorn for breakfast is evil. But it tastes so damn good!6) I have deduced that I should stop watching so many schmaltzy Hollywood-Christmas movies. Because there really is NO John Cusack to bump into at the glove stand at Bloomingdale's during the pre-Christmas rush.
7) I have accepted that Macy's television advertisements are evil. Because I am a sucker for the Ken doll models, the impossibly white smiles, the fake snow and hokey Christmas jingles which make me want to buy things... and continue to be deluded that John Cusack will be at a department store glove stand tomorrow.
8) I have concluded that I really don't need to see a rat in the subway tunnels to complete my NY experience.
9) I have realised that most people despise their jobs. And they have no qualms about showing it.10) I concede that this country and this city encompasses the very best and the very worst of culture and humanity.
New York City. You don't hate it or love it. You do both. Three visits to this city is not enough. There will be a fourth time...
posted by Christina at 11:28 AM
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